My First Black Hole
Apologies for it being so long between posts but it has been quite difficult to find time to myself with the computer set up for me to write using my voice recognition. Progress for me has been steady and some wonderful things happening with my body. My legs just want to work even though I can’t feel them! There is a stationary bike here and (when wheeled up and strapped in) my legs are able to pedal and it is very exciting to see my legs move even just a little bit. The movements are not particularly controllable but I’m hoping that improves with time. My arms however appear to be on holidays! My biceps work and my shoulders work a little bit but are very very sore and weak. My triceps work a little bit but my wrists and hands at this point do not work at all. It is very very frustrating as you could imagine. I only have feeling on my skin above my chest. This is the new body but I’m getting used to it.
The challenge of the last month has really been mental. I’ve had some very dark periods just wondering what is going on and why I have been placed in his position. Over the last two weeks my mental state has improved as a result of being able to go home and be with my wife and daughter in our house. The modifications to our house over the last few weeks has made it more of a quadriplegic warehouse! But thanks to a few friends of mine, Mick – I have ramps to get in the back doorway; Stewey and Danny and a couple of others I have a suitable bathroom that allows me to be home all weekend. We have a laundry that is now a bathroom, and a lounge room that is now my bedroom, and a living room that is the laundry and my exercise room thanks to the arrival of the Fes bike! Again I have friends to thank that have allowed the purchase of this machine. This machine is hopefully my ticket to some health and exercise in this body that doesn’t work like it used to. It allows me to pedal with both my arms and legs using an electric stimulation of my muscles. Even though I’m not controlling the movements my body is moving and my muscles are working. It even causes your heart rate to rise a little. I used it on the weekend twice and both times it made me feel fantastic so thank you to those people who have contributed to the purchase of this device.
On the weekend I did some simple things such as walk the dog, read the newspaper, watch some tele, go to my daughter’s dancing class, and visit some neighbours as well as having some friends dropping in to say hi. The weekend felt somewhat normal and I returned to rehabilitation on Monday feeling refreshed and ready to go. At this point in my rehabilitation this is an absolute blessing. So thanks to everyone who has allowed this to happen so soon in my rehabilitation. There are others here who have not left this place in nine months and you can see what effect it has had on them mentally. Obviously the most important person for me to thank is my lovely wife who has worked tirelessly to get me home. She’s an amazing woman with more energy and commitment than anyone I know. Whilst I was at home on Sunday, Moni, some cousins, some friends, and just some wonderful volunteers sold some raffle tickets to help us out. What wonderful gestures! These gestures will not go to waste as even though I need some help now I know I’ll be able to do some wonderful things for the cycling community, my local community and our friends and family when I’m back “on my feet”.
I cannot describe to you the dark periods I have in my mind at present. But by the same token it is mixed with wonderful thoughts and time spent with my family and friends who are visiting me and helping me out on a daily basis. And I know my life will be very different with this condition but I also know it will be wonderful whatever the future holds. I cannot wait to finish my rehabilitation and get fully back into life particularly with my wife and daughter. I also know that I’ll be able to make a fist of my own life as well as enjoying the lives of those around me. My computing skills are on the improve despite not being able to touch the computer (using voice recognition) and I’m thinking of ways to do lots of things such as shave, clean my teeth, drink a milkshake, eat a sandwich or hamburger and even use my phone. So if you want to give me a call and I’m not busy during the day I can answer my mobile phone! I can even send text messages now from my computer using voice recognition – Now that is cool! Just be aware that if you call me I will have to put you on speakerphone so don’t say anything too crass!
To finish up, I want to thank everyone who is thinking of me, doing things for me and contributing to the fund-raising to get me home in the best state I can be. I think of you all every moment of every day and am humbled by what people are doing for me. I hardly think I’m worth it and I cannot wait to repay you all in some way in the future. In particular, apart from contributing to my family again and spending time with friends that I enjoy the company of immensely, I want to do things for the cycling community to improve safety on some of the main routes in Melbourne so that what happened to me on Beach Road will be a thing of the past.
Thanks for listening and keeping in touch with the website and all you are doing to help me out. Keep safe and keep well.
Regards,
Mike/Forbesy/Bov.
September 24th, 2008 on 3:19 pm
Mike,
It is truly uplifting to read about how you are facing your challenges. Nothing held back.
All in.
Peter’s poignant memory montage reminds us that is how you have always faced everything in your life.
Whilst we thought the weekend challenge was big enough for the 3 of you, the hole is another thing.
You have been inspiring in the way you have conducted this recovery to the stage you have reached. Six months ahead of where the rehab said you could be in February 2009.
And the patience on display by you and Mon gives us all who follow your recovery here with the best of wishes, a lesson in life.
We have absolutley no doubt that you can beat the hole as well as you are doing the other challenges, with your fierce determination, Moni’s great urgency and creativity and both maintaining the still apparent sense of good humour.
Keep it going and try not to look back too often.
The Congdons
September 24th, 2008 on 6:18 pm
Mike,
Through every word you wrote about you and your present condition and in every photo of you I saw on the internet, I recognise the great fellow we met some years ago. I’m sure that with the help of Moni and your many friends you’ll be able to find your way out of the present situation.
Noel & Kries Derluyn
September 24th, 2008 on 10:45 pm
Hi Mike,
You are in our thoughts often. So pleased you have been able to spend time at home. I don’t know what a break would look like for you and Monica, but redefining willpower for the rest of us every waking moment must be unbelievably tiring for you both. Hang in there. You are absolutely worth it.
Love,
Julien and Anne.
September 25th, 2008 on 9:01 am
Hey mate,
You’re still an inspiration mate, to have pulled through as far as you have already, and the progress you’re making is amazing. I always had respect for you as an athelete with your physical training, but I couldn’t imagine you could ‘up’ it even further – which clearly you have.
While it may not seem like you’ve had a choice in this, and you’ve done what you had to do – remember that not all people would have handled this horrible situation as awesomely as you have. You are truely inspirational mate!
September 26th, 2008 on 3:05 pm
Dear Mike,
I don’t know you personally but I have heard heaps of stories about you from my involvement with Melbourne tri club! I read this website often and I just wanted to say what an inspiration you are, the way you have applied yourself to get the best out of your situation is amazing and it makes me smile when I read about a big hurdle you have overcome in your rehab! keep up the good work and keep on being an inspirational legend!
September 27th, 2008 on 8:23 pm
You are 100% worth it!
September 28th, 2008 on 7:00 pm
Dear Mike,
Lovely to hear you again. I look on your website most days and think of you all often. How wonderful to be able to go home with your family and some approximation of normal life. You and your family’s absolute determination to move towards a normal life in as fast a time as possible with an undiminished sense of humour is the stuff of leg-end. Go easy on yourself and those dark moments. There are not many people that would have achieved all that you have, and will continue to achieve, let alone without some dark moments!
Love,
Mel (George Laura and Sophie)
September 29th, 2008 on 1:25 am
Forbsey,Mon and Ash,
Great to hear you are zooming around and able to go home as a family. Dark moments are just moments in time and I think all of the rest of us want to be able to help lighten them up in any way we can as you do for us!
In my humble opinion the three of you are all legends!!!
Love to you all from sunny London
Julie and familyxx
September 29th, 2008 on 11:19 am
Michael
Great to hear you are making such progress – far more than I had dreamed possible. I’m thrilled to read you’re back at home and even “back on the bike”!
The E*TRADE crew (particularly me) are missing your smiling face, but we read of your recovery with a little more joy in our hearts each day.
Keep it up, and best wishes.
John
June 24th, 2011 on 2:59 am
Thanks for taking a few minutes to line all of this out for people. This kind of article was in fact incredibly helpful in my opinion.